A Wild Ride

First, I apologize for my absence.

Honestly, I needed a break. What a wimp. This project was emotionally much harder on me than I realized. And physically the recovery has been more complicated than I expected.

I was still anemic when I went to give blood prior to Christmas. However, last week my iron levels were finally high enough that I could give away a few cups. Yay!

However, over the last 4-6 weeks I have had dramatic hair loss. It's not falling out...it's breaking off. With my protein levels so low, my hair just didn't grow as strong as usual during the months of the daily serving. This took me completely by surprise when I started pulling out handfuls while washing and then blow-drying my hair. I guess it shouldn't have, after all many suffering from malnutrition are completely bald.

I'm not complaining. It's just hair. Mine will grow back. The experience was worth it. I have never doubted that. But I know I made the right decision in stopping after 3 months.

Although I haven't been blogging, I have not been able to withdrawal myself from the project. The wheels have continued to turn and it is obvious that God will use the project for His glory.

Over the past couple of months a team in Salina has come together to begin to plan this event. And it will be much bigger than I had imagined. In fact, the goal is to fill a whole shipping container...261,360 meals.  At $.25 per meal this means that we are in the process of raising $65,340 plus money for T-shirts for our volunteers.  Oh yeah...we need about 1,000 volunteers!  It will take place on Tuesday, April 9 from 12:00 to 8:00 at Kansas Wesleyan University.

People are excited. Families will participate together...at all ages. Church families are embracing the needs of those on the other side of the world and coming together to make a difference.

Although we realize that this is a “stop gap” measure while other global organizations work to solve the issues that lead to poverty,hunger, and starvation, it is critical that we continue to provide food in the meantime. Lives depend on it.

I can't express how excited I am about this event. Nor can I express how thankful I am to those of you who have followed this project and sent money to support it.

Although I will continue to update you through the One Daily Serving project, you can also follow this event on facebook at www.facebook.com/SalinaSavesTheStarving. If you would like to volunteer to help with the project or make a donation, visit the event site.  (Remember, it's tax deductible!)

What a ride! Thanks for coming along with me.

Who Cares

Not posting.  I'm an emotional mess tonight and it wouldn't be pretty.

The things I want to say are ugly and hurtful.

Who cares.

Hunger Pangs

Hunger pangs.  I thought they were a myth.

This evening I had my first little bout with real pain from hunger.  Don't get me wrong...I've felt hungry, felt and heard my stomach rumbling, and suffered through my digestive tract being uncomfortable.  But this is the first time I've had pain.

It was short lived.  A laid down and read for a while to take my mind off it.

I'm feeling helpless tonight.  With only a few people offering to contribute anything to this project, I realize that this may very well be more of a personal journey for me than a project that really makes a difference for those out there who are starving.

So, I'm going to share with you some different organizations that are making a difference in world hunger over the next couple of weeks other than Numana.

The first is Heifer International.  This organization works to provide a "hand up rather than a hand-out" to those in starving nations.  Through gifts and donations they provide families with agricultural training and livestock that not only supply them with food but also with a source of income to buy additional items to satisfy their needs.

I first heard about this organization when I was teaching high school keyboarding.  One of the letters students had to type was directed to this organization.  I had never heard of it before and assumed it was just a fictional name.  But I looked it up.

That was years ago and I've been impressed with their mission ever since.  In fact, the missions team at my church is looking at doing a Christmas mission to provide Heifer International gifts over the holidays to families in need.

I love this idea.  There are children that need the gift of food way more than our own kids need the latest gaming system.

What Does a Packaging Event Look Like?

It was time to go and have some blood drawn again.  I'm anxious to see how the numbers look.

I'm feeling a little guilty for not going to the gym tonight since I have time, but I'm tired.  Maybe getting to bed earlier would help.  With so much reading to do, going to bed now and reading for a while before falling asleep sounds like a good plan.

I wanted to share with you a video that shows a packaging event.  If you would like to participate in one in Salina, Kansas, once the project ends, complete the form (link on right) and let me know.

The food packaged here went to Kenya but this is only one location of many that need it.  In the past, food has been sent all over the world.  For more information, go to www.numanainc.com.

In order to make this happen, $23,000 needs to be raised in the next 10 months.  That's 100,000 meals at $.23 per meal.  Please consider making a pledge to help meet this goal.

Cold Shoulder

First...I'm grouchy and hungry.  I just want to go to bed right now.  My arms and legs are sore from walking and playing 18 holes of golf last night.  I just finished my homework.  And I suffered through my family's lunch at my favorite Mexican food place as well as serving them up German chocolate cake with ice cream this evening.

I also realized that I missed a homework deadline on Friday.  How did I manage to do that?  Grrrr...

I feel angry.  I know that doesn't make sense, but I do.  And I want to cry.  Won't that make me feel better?

Even knowing this is temporary and self-imposed doesn't provide me with comfort.  I feel helpless and hopeless.  Can I imagine a lifetime of being hungry?  The fatigue, difficulty in concentration, yearning for food, hopelessness, and ANGER...until death?

But, wait!  I have a comfy bed.  I have a supportive and helpful husband and healthy children.  I have clean water and even ice cubes at my disposal whenever I want them.  I am guaranteed a serving of food (through Numana) each and every day without fear that it will not be there tomorrow.  I have a car and a job and technology and a climate-controlled home!

No.  I don't get it.  Even after a year I won't be able to comprehend the lives of those in other cultures who are living in constant hunger.  Just rereading my whining above makes me realize what a spoiled baby I am.  Suck it up, cupcake!

Look at them.  Look at them!

What can I do?  What can we do?  Why are the vast majority of us doing nothing?  Do our beds, healthy families, clean water, food, cars, jobs, technology, and homes provide wonderful blinders to the realities of the world?

Open your eyes, people!  This world is full of evil and hurt.  And raving about how wonderful our lives are is ridiculous in the grand scheme of things.  (I'm guilty of this just like you are.)

If our lives are so darn good, we aren't doing enough to help those whose lives are a living hell.

You Are Needed!

You may be new to "One Daily Serving".  If you are, it's important that you get the back story behind the project.  This is a good place to start.  These posts are in backward chronological order.

Although this is a very personal journey for me in my own spiritual growth, I have also elected to make it public in that I want YOU to experience hunger through me.  I want YOU to gain some of the insights revealed to me over the months.  But mostly, through this public project, I want YOU to help me do something about hunger.

I pray that my family is able to take this trip next summer.  Click here to check out the video of Numana's current trip to Kenya.  Seems like a great family vacation to me!  My kids would certainly see the world in a different light.

The food provided in the video was packaged in Wichita.  A half a million meals!  Wow!  My goal for Salina is 100,000 meals.  The cost of the food for this project would be $23,000 and we would need help in packaging.  Hopefully YOUR help.

Please consider being a part of this project.  It doesn't have to be a large financial commitment.  Even $1 per month for the year (total of $12) would add up if enough people were willing to give to the cause.  ALL proceeds will go directly to Numana, Inc. for food.  There are no additional expenses associated with this project.  (The $.23 per meal would cover Numana's food costs, administration, shipping, etc.)

You need to know that Numana, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) organization...so your donation will be tax deductible!

In fact, your contribution doesn't have to be monetary at all!  Your prayers would be a welcome and much needed gift!  And, of course, I would love for you to join me and my friends (bring your whole family!) as we package food next August.

To make a pledge, just complete this form.  A certificate will be sent to you to remind you of your contribution.  Monetary donations will not be "due" until the end of the project--August 1, 2013.  However, your contribution of prayer starts today.

If you are able come help us package in August, please bring a covered dish.  Let's celebrate our accomplishment by sharing a meal together in our fellowship with one another.

More details of the event will continue to come as we get closer to the project's end.

By the way...it was a good day.  After at least of week of my hunger really feeling like a heavy burden, it was nice to have a day of respite.  Neither my head nor my stomach seemed to clamor for food today.  These days seem to be few and far between so I am grateful.

Thanks for reading!

Distracted

Classes started back up today.  It's going to be an intense schedule.  I worry about my ability to concentrate when I seem so distracted by thoughts of food right now.  Ridiculous...and frustrating.

I took a nap after work.  My energy level is not good.  Will it continue to deteriorate or is this just a phase of the fast?  I'm seriously thinking about adding one fresh fruit or vegetable per day.  Maybe that would be enough to pep up my energy.  I'll give it a little more time and see what my blood work indicates.

Tonight I went to the gym to get in a workout.  The Arc Trainer was definitely tougher than usual but I stuck it out for 50 minutes.  I'm hoping that regular exercise will help with my energy.

It seems to me that I am at a critical stage in this journey.  Either I've got to figure out how to get past the constant hunger (and thoughts of food) or I will not be able to continue.  I know I've got to get out of my own head but that is much easier said than done when your body's needs (and wants) are so persistent and severe.  And there is no end in sight.

Suggestions are appreciated.  Prayers are needed.

Hunger Games

Four hours of class yesterday morning, thirteen hours of driving, eight hours of sleep, and fifteen hours of catching up at home...it's been a busy couple of days.

The kids were all happy with their gifts.  We also made the discovery that dogs do not like the sound of harmonicas.  Poor things howled and howled as it was passed around so everyone could try it out.

When I left home three weeks ago, I was willing to eat my daily serving cold from my cooler.  On the way home, not so much.  I just chose not to eat yesterday.

Today I ate half of my serving with my family as they ate their own lunch.  Tonight I ate the other half and inhaled (deeply!) the aroma of taco meat as everyone else dug into my husband's tacos.  Then two of the kids decided to make peanut butter cookies.  Hmmm...being home is going to take some adjusting.

I weighed this evening and I'm down 28 pounds.  This week I plan to go in and have some blood work done to see how this may be affecting my health.  As this page evolves I'll start tracking these kinds of things and make it available to you.

My family was shocked at my appearance but pleased that I feel good and seem to have plenty of energy.

Tonight we watched "The Hunger Games".  With my kids reading it, I decided that I'd better read it, too.  (I like to know what my kids are feeding into their heads.)  It took all of a week to get through the trilogy at the beginning of the summer.

As I watched tonight, I wished that the director had put more emphasis on the hunger felt by people all over the country.  I felt that the book did a much better job of making this central to the story.  Hunger is very powerful and leads people to do things that they wouldn't ordinarily do.  To think of hunger as a weapon used by a government to control a population is a terrifying concept.

And the fact of the matter is, there is plenty of food in "The Capitol".  Can you imagine a world where there are so many people starving, yet some have more than they can possibly need...or want?  Where some have excesses that the others can't even fathom?

Well, can you?

Look at those Smiling Faces

My second suite-mate is from Indonesia.

Her insight into my project was the fact that there are no assistance programs and food banks there.  If there is no food, there are no options.

According to my friend, most of the poor in the United States live at an Indonesian upper-middle class level.

We don't realize how good we've got it, until we see something like this...

Although this video didn't originate in Indonesia (but in the nearby Philippines), it illustrates the large gap between the "haves" and "have nots".

I hope it makes you cry.

Physical Hunger or Heart Hunger?

Good news!  Today was easier.  I had energy and didn't struggle with food fantasies.

What made the difference?  Advice from a fellow student:

I just read through your blog. I once was in a bible study that focused on searching out "true hunger" (heart hunger vs physical hunger) by realizing signs of physical hunger (stomach growls, stomach pain, headache) instead of heart hunger (thoughts of food, thinking of desires, projecting our love for Christ on to other things). 

The solution the bible study offered was to feed yourself in the Word, write scripture, meditate on it, memorize it... And keep doing it until the temptation goes away. Sometimes temptation is short-lived sometimes long. Use the Word--as food, a weapon against the enemy, for comfort, etc. 

What amazing advice!  I have little experience with fasting and, although I've read lots on fasting, implementing the same concepts to this challenge had not yet entered my mind.  My last post on making sure my focus is on God (and not me) along with this advice on turning to Him (rather than turning inward and giving into fantasies or simply trying to use will-power) have worked together to give me a new outlook and a renewed excitement for the task at hand.

Other than scripture, there isn't much help greater than the counsel of other Christians.

Not to mention...one should never underestimate the power of prayer.

A Prayer for Strength

Yesterday was hard.  I don't know why some days are harder than others, but some are.

When I was brushing my teeth, I noticed my tongue was coated.  Gross.  I was tired.  I was hungry.  A trip to the grocery store for ingredients for a breakfast casserole for my class the next morning just about did me in.  

What's up with the coated tongue?  Well, I looked it up.  Apparently my body is ridding itself of toxins.  (Hmmm....this might take a while.)  It will clear up on it's own one day soon (when the toxins are all gone) and be a beautiful, healthy, new shade of pink.  At that point, according to the doctor's post that I was reading, my hunger will return.  

It will return?  It never really left!!

I felt sorry for myself.  I fantasized about Tucsons' fresh bread, salad, steak, grilled veggies...and dessert.  I told myself that God is not legalistic.  He's not holding me to this challenge.  It's okay to quit.  

And it is okay to quit.  And one day in the next 355 days I may just do that.

But I realize now that I was focusing on the wrong things.  My focus was on me--my pain, my hunger, my wants, my satisfaction.  

That was never the intent of this project.  It's time to redirect.  

My focus is two-fold really.  Hunger is the public focus.  How can I bring attention to it and help do something about it?  (For my friends and family who see me regularly, this is a very tangible way to develop an understanding of hunger.)

But the second, and more private, focus is on my relationship with God.  This private aspect of the project is the reason you don't see my name associated with it.  It's personal.  This experience and struggle is opening up space within me that was previously consumed with my own abuse of food.  It's opening up space for God to work.  

Father, teach me through this experience.  Give me strength and courage.  I pray that you will sustain me through this time and nourish me in many, many ways.  I pray Your blessing on all companies such as Numana who are fighting the battle with world hunger through providing food and spreading awareness.  Finally, Lord, be with all of those throughout the wold, including those right here in the U.S., who don't have enough food, who don't have food choices, and who don't have clean water to drink.  I pray that each of them will find You so that one day they will enjoy feasts in Your Kingdom.  Amen.

Chapel...with Dumplings

There was no class yesterday.  Instead we had time to study, take our first test, and write our first paper.  It was a relaxing day.

At 11:30 I attended chapel services.  As you may have guessed, the message involved food.  

The speaker was from Singapore.  With his father-in-law suffering from cancer, his wife recently went home for a two month stay to help care for him.  This week he decided he was going to cook Chinese dumplings.

His wife often told him that she didn't like to make dumplings because it was tedious.  His response was, "No problem.  The kids and I will help you wrap them."  Once the filling was made, each dumpling had to be hand-wrapped in dough.  

What he found, however, when he was on his own making the dumplings, was that the wrapping was the easy part!  It was the tediousness of cleaning and chopping and mixing the vegetables that made preparing dumplings so difficult.  

He never knew.  His wife never told him.  What a surprise to find that his offer to help was not nearly as helpful as he thought it was.  

We just don't get what someone else is going through until we walk in her shoes.

The Eucharist

Apparently my body is adjusting, because day 7 was much easier.  I have a feeling that I will have many ups and downs throughout the year.

I've worried about my lack of energy and decided that I need to continue to exercise throughout this year--even though I know that will use precious calories.  But on each of the last two evenings I put in 45 minutes on the elliptical without feeling I was pushing it.  The Olympic coverage helps!

During the noon hour on campus, the Eucharist is available daily.  The word "Eucharist" is taken from the original Greek word (εὐχαριστία),  used in the New Testament (1 Corinthians 11:23-24).  It's the verb that tells us He "gave thanks" after breaking the bread.  I actually prefer to call this sacrament, "Holy Communion".  Our God is a God of relationship.  Through the "Lord's Supper" we are reminded that He calls us to be in relationship with Him and each other.  No one name can encompass the depth of this one spiritual act.

This sacrament was especially meaningful to me today.  With my belly so empty, there was something very special about accepting Christ's body and blood into my own body.  That sounds kind of weird, I know.  And, honestly, I really can't explain it.  But knowing that the only nourishment to my body in an 18-hour period was the bread and juice of the Eucharist, also nourished my soul.

Don't get me wrong, each time I participate in Holy Communion I am moved.  But this was different.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13, NASB)

Momentary Pleasures

It's been a busy couple of days.  Over the weekend I prepared to leave my family for three weeks while I attend some summer intensive sessions at Asbury Theological Seminary.  My folks and some of my sisters came to see us before my trip.  As you can imagine, there was lots of good food.  In fact, my daughter-in-law made my favorite muffins--banana nut with cream cheese and chocolate chip filling.

It was hard for me, of course, but even harder since I really didn't want to tell my parents and my sisters about the project.  I knew they would worry--especially with a 12-13 hour drive in front of me.  When asked, I just told them I was on a special diet for a while.  Which is true.

In my class this morning we talked about the fact that as humans we are sinful, yet our natural/healthy state is not sinful.  It is a constant battle.  I can see this in my project.

I love food.  I am guilty of over-indulging in the pleasures of food on a regular basis.  This is a constant battle for me.  One of the things I'm learning through this exercise is that I have (and probably many, if not most Americans are in the same boat) used food for the pleasure of it rather than for the necessity of it.  I don't provide my body with the fuel it needs to run at peak performance.  Instead, I provide my body with the flavors and textures that my mouth and brain enjoy.

In fact, how many people do you know who will say things like, "I just don't eat vegetables.  I don't like them."  That person is certainly taking food for granted.  I'm not condemning them...I get it!

When I think about those who are starving...
when I think about those whose meal each day is a donation from a company such as Numana...
when I find myself eating my own portion of food nowadays...
the variety of foods that we have available to us on a daily basis seems like an amazing extravagance.

Over a year's time will I forget how different things taste?  Will my stomach revolt when I try my first cheeseburger and fries in a year?  Will I want a cheeseburger and fries in a year?!

In some ways, each day has gotten more difficult.  In other ways, I realize that those tastes are momentary pleasures that should not matter as much as they seem to in my mind.  For example, when I said "no" to the donut this morning, I knew that I wouldn't later think, "Man, I really wish I had eaten that donut!"

Can you imagine life without those momentary pleasures?  Some people ONLY know life without them.

I'm fortunate that this is just for one year.

When you sit down for dinner tonight, remember that you, too, are fortunate.

Entrusted

I had never tasted the Numana meals prior to starting this project.  I knew it would be bland.  And honestly, I thought it might freak me out a little.

Of course, August 1 was our first night to prepare it.  I decided to eat my meal as my family eats their main meal together since this is usually important family time.  As my husband prepared it along side the spaghetti, green beans, and garlic bread he was making for the rest of the family we chuckled a little.

It wasn't bad.  I guess I should let you know the basic contents--rice, soy flour, salt, beans, sweet dairy whey, corn protein, soybean oil, chicken flavoring, turmeric, onion powder, and some preservatives.

The package makes about six cups...six servings.  I scooped out a cup and smelled their delicious meal while I ate it.  No problem.

The second night was a little tougher.

Grilled juicy burgers with melted cheese and pan-fried tater tots were on the menu.  My meal was leftover in a plastic container in the fridge then microwaved right before eating.  It was a bit harder to swallow.

I miss eating.  I miss different flavors.

We needed milk yesterday so I had to make a run to the store.  It was not pleasant.  We have so many options...so many fresh fruits and vegetables.  We can afford to say, "I'm not hungry for that." and then find something else to eat.

I dreamt last night that I was frosting cookies.  Without thinking, I dipped my finger in the sugary goodness and put it in my mouth.  It makes me wonder how often I will dream about different foods over the next year.  If I can eat them in my dreams, maybe I won't miss them so much in my reality.

Can you imagine a world without grocery stores?  Without a variety of fresh produce?  Without an abundance of meat and bread?  I know many think I'm making a huge sacrifice, but there are people who live their whole lives like this...and die hungry.

From everyone who is given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. --Luke 12:48

We have been giving much.  And we have a responsibility.

Obstacles...Seen and Unseen

I'm not a morning person.  Yet, here I am up early again this morning.  Why?  Bruce woke me up again.  This morning's 5am alarm was Springsteen's angry anthem, "Born in the USA".  Wow.

My biggest fear yesterday was that I would unconsciously pop something in my mouth without thinking.  I didn't.  I carried a water bottle with me most of the day.

When I came home after work, our "I am Second" bracelets were waiting for me.  The kids are wearing them, also.  My family's support is crucial to my success.  I know I am blessed in that area.

Then I took the kids to get haircuts.  On the way, I noticed that my elbow was bothering me.  Upon closer inspection, I realized that something had bit me--something with fangs.  These fang holes are a good 2mm apart, and there are two sets.  By the time we got to the hair stylist's, a large red feverish 2-inch circle enclosed them.

Great.

There have been articles in papers all over Kansas about the large number of spiders this year--in particular, Brown Recluse.  That may sound a bit paranoid; however, my husband has found several both at work and in our home even though our home has been sprayed specifically for spiders.

As I looked over this big red welt, my mind wasn't thinking as much about the type of spider that bit me as it was thinking about spiritual warfare.  Now, I don't know that Satan is responsible for my spider bites.  However, I do know that it is possible.  Why now?  Because I'm trying to make an impact on others.

Angels and demons?  Don't be ridiculous.

It is so hard to believe in those things we can't see.  Yet we are told over and over again in the Bible that they are real.  In fact, we are made up of body, spirit, and soul.  If you have a spirit, why is it so hard to believe that there are other spirits?  We know so very little about our world...our reality.  Yet, we think we know so much.

Let me ask you, if I professed to be a Christian but didn't live my life for Christ and rested in the false security that going to church each Sunday was somehow equivalent to faith--would Satan mess with me?  No need.  He would already have me.  It's those who live their faith that must fight this spiritual battle on a regular basis.  

So, if you were Satan (Remember, he is NOT God's equal.  He is not omniscient, omnipotent, or omnipresent.) with limited resources and abilities, who would you target for temptation and destruction?

I believe that those who must be the most on guard are those who are reaching out.  My piddly efforts may be bigger than some, but they don't compare to many, many others.  Billy Graham describes it as "living in a perpetual battlefield." (Angels, 1995)

In his letter to the people of Ephesus, the Apostle Paul says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:12, NIV)

The spider bites look better this morning.  All is well.  But I do feel like I've received fair warning to be on the lookout.

This journey is not going to be easy.

The First Blessing

My family and I celebrated yesterday.  We celebrated some of my favorite food and the beginning of this project.  It was great to have a late family meal at one of our favorite restaurants while we visited and watched the Olympics.

Later in the evening I had my favorite treat--a Wild Cherry Mudslide from Spangles.  Mmmmm...   This is the closest thing I've found to the "Brown Derby" that was served at the local drive-in of my hometown when I was a kid. (If you are ever in the Wichita area, I recommend that you give it a try!)

It was a great evening with my family.

I also found out that I have my first donor.  One of my husband's colleagues at work pledged to donate $1 for each day that I am successful in abstaining from any food other than water and my daily portion of Numana.

Not only that, but he shared the project with his small group from his church and they are praying for the success of this project.  That is an amazing contribution for which I am very grateful!

I went to bed last night in a state of excitement and fear.  I've been surprised at the fear I have felt in the face of this challenge.  But, I slept well.

God talks to each of us in different ways.  Although this may sound a little bizarre to some of you, those who know me and have heard the story of my call to ministry know that God has used Bruce Springsteen throughout my life in some very...err...instrumental....ways.  That's a whole other (and fascinating) story.

With Bruce in concert this year, I've found myself listening quite often to some of his live recordings.  When my kids started expressing their boredom with the same old songs over and over again in the car, I assigned my youngest son (a young teen) a favorite--Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out.

What does this mean?  Well, every time he is grumpy or needs to get pumped up for a swim meet, I'll say, "You just need to hear your favorite song, don't you?"  And I'll put it on...and make him involuntarily smile.  Or...when it comes on randomly when the kids are in the car with me I'll say, "Oh...it's your favorite song!" And then I will turn it up.  It is one of our little jokes.

One day I took my oldest daughter shopping and actually heard her humming the song.  Ha, ha!  Success!!

Well, this morning my husband's alarm went off at it's normal 5:00 time. The song playing on his clock radio?  You guessed it, "Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out".

Coincidence, you say?  Hmmm....when was the last time you heard this song on the radio.  To be honest, I don't remember ever hearing this song on the radio.  Ever.  It was a live version (not the same version I have) of a song that came out in 1975.  Although most people have heard of the song, "Born to Run" (the title track of this album), not nearly as many know this song.

But, it woke me up this morning on Day 1.

Encouragement from God.  What a blessing!

Final Countdown

I'll admit it.  I'm scared.

I know what I'm like when I'm hungry and it's not pretty.  Thankfully, I'll be leaving for 3 weeks of seminary on day 6 of this journey.  I hope that this will provide the adjustment time I need so that I'm not grouchy with my family when I get back.

On the up-side, I don't have to worry about spending lots of money buying expensive meals while I'm gone.  Right?

In preparation, one thing I've done is cut back my Diet Dr. Pepper intake so that I'm completely caffeine-free prior to Wednesday.  I decided the last thing I needed were caffeine withdrawals along with the hunger.

Another thing I've done is preparation is order my "I am Second" wristband.  Besides being a project that I've followed and appreciated for years, that black band will serve as my reminder that I am fortunate enough to GET to eat the Numana once each day.  I will try to look at this food as a precious gift rather than a sacrifice.  I want to get these things in the right perspective.  As I mentioned in my first blog post, this band represents life--grace!  Grace given to only some chosen ones.

I'm excited about this journey and the insight I will gain through the suffering.  But I am terrified.  Terrified that I can't do it.  Terrified that I won't handle hunger well emotionally. Terrified that physically I won't feel well while away from my family.

Please consider making a donation to Numana based on my perseverance.  For example, "I'll give $2 for each month that you can do it!"  This will encourage me to keep it up while also providing a nice donation to Numana at the end of this project (July 31, 2013) to help them continue their battle against hunger.  It's an honor system, drop me a message or leave a comment with your name and pledge.

And please remember to pray--for me, but even more so, for those who don't choose to live like this.

For the Dogs

We are spending time this week visiting family before a new school year starts.  Over the last 24 hours I feel like we have spent an outrageous amount of time eating.  My husband's mother fixes big meals (three a day) as well as snacks--bread pudding, pineapple upside down cake, ice cream, cookies, candy, fruit, etc.  Her refrigerator is so full that it was difficult to put away the leftovers from dinner.  I've always been quite aware that she could survive for months if she were ever trapped in her home.

This has made me remember life in this home prior to my husband's father's early Alzheimer's diagnosis and subsequent death.  Two large Basset Hounds dominating their time and attention after my husband and sister grew up and left home.  

Those dogs were so spoiled.  Because they were so used to eating table scraps, they refused to eat dog food.  So, they quit buying dog food.  Instead, my mother-in-law would have a ham shredded for them.  It even got to the point that she would by chicken legs and fry them up for those dogs.  I'll never forget when they moved, she fried up the Schwan's chicken breasts that were in the freezer for those spoiled, overweight, slobbering dogs.

After these dogs died and a new Basset took their place, the pattern continued.  The new twist was an added 2:00 snack--a Schwan's ice cream sandwich.  (They tried Blue Bunny but he just didn't like it as well.)

This is all on my mind today as I think about my upcoming challenge.  Do we really feed our pets here better than many people eat across the globe?  How many people worldwide would be glad to have some packaged American dog food to satisfy their bloated, empty bellies?  How many would be glad to have a fat basset...to eat, not to feed?  

We take so much for granted.

It Begins...

Although I've been talking about it for a while, today it became real.  Jay from Numana delivered enough food to provide me with one serving per day for a year.

Two boxes.  Enough food for one person for one year in two 33-pound boxes.  I'm sure that each week when I fill my grocery cart, it contains more food than this.  Yet for many people, this is the one meal they get each day.  This is the food that they thank God for and devour hungrily and gratefully.

John Gasangwa inspired me through this episode from Lifetree Café.  As a child he was taken to a hospital where he was given an armband.  This armband represented food...life.  Those with armbands received one bowl of porridge per day.  He survived.

As the week went on I found myself more aware of the quantity of food we consume and the reasons that we consume it.  We don't eat because we are hungry.  Our stomachs are like spoiled children--when they make a little noise we satisfy them.  It's not just our stomachs; it's also our emotions.  Whether we are happy, sad, lonely, getting together with friends, angry (the list goes on and on), we punctuate these emotions with food.

We don't see food as fuel for our bodies.  We view food as entertainment.  We can take it or leave it.  And most of us (including me) are taking more than our bodies need.  We are worried about taste, texture, and even presentation.  Ridiculous.

Although I don't have access to the porridge that John was given, I am familiar with Numana, Inc.  A few years ago I participated in one of their packaging events with my youngest children.  As we put together the ingredients and sealed the bags, I realized that this small bag would serve six meals.  Would I even eat this if it was offered to me...or would I turn up my nose and track down a Quarter Pounder?  I emailed them.

My idea?  Experience hunger.  Survive on one serving of Numana's product per day for a year.  An armband will serve as a reminder that not everyone gets to make the choice daily about what and how much they will eat.  Why would I do this?  One reason is completely selfish--I want to understand.  Similar to fasting, I believe the spiritual benefits will greatly outweigh the discomfort.  The other reason is to increase awareness of hunger and support for the organizations that are fighting it.  I'm challenging you to make a commitment to set aside a donation that you would be willing to repeat for every month I am successful.  It might be just $1 a month.  It doesn't have to be a huge commitment on your part.  But those dollars will add up to provide me an incentive when I want to give in to my spoiled appetite.

Just one daily serving of Numana for one daily serving Jesus Christ.

The project starts August 1, 2012.  What do you say?