40 Days and 40 Nights

It's been 40 days.  This period of time is significant in the Bible.

In Genesis 7:12 rain fell on the earth for 40 days and 40 nights during the great flood.  Of course, Noah had built an ark which contained every living thing that survived.

Twice in Exodus (24:18 and 34:28) Moses spent 40 days with God on Mount Sinai.

Moses and Aaron sent spies to check out the promised land in Numbers 13.  Their exploration lasted 40 days.

When Israel battled the Philistines, a giant named Goliath challenged them for 40 days offering to settle the fight if only one man could kill him (1 Samuel 17:16).  Of course, young David met that challenge.

Elijah had reached his limit and asked God to take his life...then took a nap.  God responded by waking him and telling him to eat.  He was provided with food that gave him supernatural strength to fast for 40 days.  After this, the Lord revealed himself to Elijah in a "still small voice".  (1 King 19)

Ezekial had to bear the sins of Judah for 40 days as he prophesied against Jerusalem while lying, tied in ropes, on his right side.  (Ezekial 4:6-8)

Jonah proclaimed to Nineveh that they had 40 days to repent or suffer God's wrath.  They repented.  Wise choice. (Jonah 3)

Matthew 4:2 tell us that Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights after the Spirit led him into the wilderness.

After his resurrection, Jesus appeared to the apostles for 40 days--proving that he was alive and talking about the Kingdom of Heaven.  (Acts 1:3)

I've been looking forward to this 40 day mark for a while.  For me it is significant that God has given me strength to make it to this point.  Even with a hurdle thrown in my path today, I find myself uplifted by simply writing this journal entry...and reminding myself that:

If God is for us, who can be against us? --Romans 8:31

Physical Hunger or Heart Hunger?

Good news!  Today was easier.  I had energy and didn't struggle with food fantasies.

What made the difference?  Advice from a fellow student:

I just read through your blog. I once was in a bible study that focused on searching out "true hunger" (heart hunger vs physical hunger) by realizing signs of physical hunger (stomach growls, stomach pain, headache) instead of heart hunger (thoughts of food, thinking of desires, projecting our love for Christ on to other things). 

The solution the bible study offered was to feed yourself in the Word, write scripture, meditate on it, memorize it... And keep doing it until the temptation goes away. Sometimes temptation is short-lived sometimes long. Use the Word--as food, a weapon against the enemy, for comfort, etc. 

What amazing advice!  I have little experience with fasting and, although I've read lots on fasting, implementing the same concepts to this challenge had not yet entered my mind.  My last post on making sure my focus is on God (and not me) along with this advice on turning to Him (rather than turning inward and giving into fantasies or simply trying to use will-power) have worked together to give me a new outlook and a renewed excitement for the task at hand.

Other than scripture, there isn't much help greater than the counsel of other Christians.

Not to mention...one should never underestimate the power of prayer.

A Prayer for Strength

Yesterday was hard.  I don't know why some days are harder than others, but some are.

When I was brushing my teeth, I noticed my tongue was coated.  Gross.  I was tired.  I was hungry.  A trip to the grocery store for ingredients for a breakfast casserole for my class the next morning just about did me in.  

What's up with the coated tongue?  Well, I looked it up.  Apparently my body is ridding itself of toxins.  (Hmmm....this might take a while.)  It will clear up on it's own one day soon (when the toxins are all gone) and be a beautiful, healthy, new shade of pink.  At that point, according to the doctor's post that I was reading, my hunger will return.  

It will return?  It never really left!!

I felt sorry for myself.  I fantasized about Tucsons' fresh bread, salad, steak, grilled veggies...and dessert.  I told myself that God is not legalistic.  He's not holding me to this challenge.  It's okay to quit.  

And it is okay to quit.  And one day in the next 355 days I may just do that.

But I realize now that I was focusing on the wrong things.  My focus was on me--my pain, my hunger, my wants, my satisfaction.  

That was never the intent of this project.  It's time to redirect.  

My focus is two-fold really.  Hunger is the public focus.  How can I bring attention to it and help do something about it?  (For my friends and family who see me regularly, this is a very tangible way to develop an understanding of hunger.)

But the second, and more private, focus is on my relationship with God.  This private aspect of the project is the reason you don't see my name associated with it.  It's personal.  This experience and struggle is opening up space within me that was previously consumed with my own abuse of food.  It's opening up space for God to work.  

Father, teach me through this experience.  Give me strength and courage.  I pray that you will sustain me through this time and nourish me in many, many ways.  I pray Your blessing on all companies such as Numana who are fighting the battle with world hunger through providing food and spreading awareness.  Finally, Lord, be with all of those throughout the wold, including those right here in the U.S., who don't have enough food, who don't have food choices, and who don't have clean water to drink.  I pray that each of them will find You so that one day they will enjoy feasts in Your Kingdom.  Amen.