I had never tasted the
Numana meals prior to starting this project. I knew it would be bland. And honestly, I thought it might freak me out a little.
Of course, August 1 was our first night to prepare it. I decided to eat my meal as my family eats their main meal together since this is usually important family time. As my husband prepared it along side the spaghetti, green beans, and garlic bread he was making for the rest of the family we chuckled a little.
It wasn't bad. I guess I should let you know the basic contents--rice, soy flour, salt, beans, sweet dairy whey, corn protein, soybean oil, chicken flavoring, turmeric, onion powder, and some preservatives.
The package makes about six cups...six servings. I scooped out a cup and smelled their delicious meal while I ate it. No problem.
The second night was a little tougher.
Grilled juicy burgers with melted cheese and pan-fried tater tots were on the menu. My meal was leftover in a plastic container in the fridge then microwaved right before eating. It was a bit harder to swallow.
I miss eating. I miss different flavors.
We needed milk yesterday so I had to make a run to the store. It was not pleasant. We have so many options...so many fresh fruits and vegetables. We can afford to say, "I'm not hungry for that." and then find something else to eat.
I dreamt last night that I was frosting cookies. Without thinking, I dipped my finger in the sugary goodness and put it in my mouth. It makes me wonder how often I will dream about different foods over the next year. If I can eat them in my dreams, maybe I won't miss them so much in my reality.
Can you imagine a world without grocery stores? Without a variety of fresh produce? Without an abundance of meat and bread? I know many think I'm making a huge sacrifice, but there are people who live their whole lives like this...and die hungry.
From everyone who is given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. --Luke 12:48
We have been giving much. And we have a responsibility.
I took a nap after work. My energy level is not good. Will it continue to deteriorate or is this just a phase of the fast? I'm seriously thinking about adding one fresh fruit or vegetable per day. Maybe that would be enough to pep up my energy. I'll give it a little more time and see what my blood work indicates.
It seems to me that I am at a critical stage in this journey. Either I've got to figure out how to get past the constant hunger (and thoughts of food) or I will not be able to continue. I know I've got to get out of my own head but that is much easier said than done when your body's needs (and wants) are so persistent and severe. And there is no end in sight.
