Keep Praying

I talked to Jay at Numana today. We are looking at April for the packaging event. Be sure to fill out the pledge form if you want to participate in some way. When more details are available, I will share them with you.

In addition, I'm working out plans to go with them when they deliver our food. It sounds like that will either be a trip to Nairobi, Kenya or Rwanda in late spring or early summer. 

This will be the perfect conclusion to the project and certainly an eye-opening adventure. I simply can't wait.

Of course, there are lots of details to work out between now and then.

Your continued prayers for this project are important. Please keep them coming.

Shameless Audacity

The easy days seem to be behind me.  I have been so hungry today that it is painful and kind of nauseating.

My day was packed full.  After a busy morning of taking care of business at home and making a hospital visit, I got to meet some great college kids at a discovery fair.  Then I picked up my own kids, dropped them off at home, packed four daily servings in a cooler, distributed hugs and kisses to everyone, and headed to KC for a Leadership Institute.  

I was doing pretty good until sitting in the car for 3 hours.  Once we got here everyone went out to enjoy dinner.  This was the first time I couldn't bear to go along and just sit and drink my ice water.  I just couldn't do it.  

After heating and eating a serving down in the lobby, I climbed into bed to listen to my Greek lecture.  Now the lecture is over and I'm already hungry again.

This is definitely new.  Apparently my body is panicking a bit and realizing that reserves are getting smaller with no additional calories in sight.

Will there be another ebb?  Will I get any periods of relief between now and day 109?

But this is temporary.  Day 110 will come.  I'm strong and healthy...blessed.

This morning I was talking to a friend of mine who is going through a trying time with her health.  She said something like, "I have asked God and asked God for healing over the years and He has been very generous to me.  I have had a good life.  How can I keep asking him for more?  I feel that I am being selfish and that maybe I should just accept my health and quit asking for more favors."

Do you feel like that?  Do you wonder if you're being selfish when you ask God to heal or help you in any way...especially if you've seen the fruit of those prayers and know that God has been generous?  

Well don't.  

The book of Luke tells us that Jesus taught us to pray.  You've heard this prayer before.  It's the Lord's Prayer (Our Father, who art in heaven...).  Then right after that we are told a parable.  Take a look:

Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ 

And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ 

I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.  --Luke 11:5-8

On top of all of that, we are next given this little gem.

Shameless audacity.

God wants you to seek him boldly and without shame!  Don't stop your praying.

Ask, seek, knock...and receive.

No Problem

We had a great day yesterday.  Well, most of it.

After sleeping in we loaded up the kids and headed to Wichita.  My husband enjoyed the air show featuring the Thunderbirds of the U.S. Air Force, I visited a friend in the hospital and her family, and the kids got to play with their cousin.  Later, we met my son, his wife, and my sister for dinner.  Mexican food!  (It is always hard to resist Mexican food!)  Before we left town, we did a little shopping.

Then, on the way home, I had a breakdown.  That's the best way for me to describe it.

I remembered that I needed to do some more preparation for a Sunday School lesson I was teaching the next morning.  I remembered that I had scheduled a young teen to serve as worship leader yet I had forgot to help her write the prayer she would be delivering.  I thought about my friend in the hospital.  I reflected on the many messages that have went back and forth among H.S. classmates regarding one of our own that was killed in a car accident earlier this week.

And I lost it.

Everyone else in the car was sleeping as I drove home becoming more and more agitated with each and every mile.

By the time we got home, I wanted to tear something up. I settled for slamming my office door and crying in front of my computer as I struggled with my own emotions. Why does my friend have to struggle through a long process of recovery? Isn't 41 just too young to die? How was I supposed to apologize to this young lady for dropping the ball?  What in the world was I going to say in this prayer that I really needed to write?  I didn't have a copy of the worship schedule for the next morning so I didn't even know what scripture we would be discussing.

I churned out something, worked on my lesson for the next morning, and then angrily went to bed and cried myself to sleep.

Morning came too fast.

When I got to the church, I went to a small room to wait for the young worship leader.  And I prayed.  I prayed for issues I had on my heart and in my mind.  I prayed that the young worship leader would accept my apology and offer me grace even though I dropped the ball.

She was the first one in.  Her response when I apologized?  "No problem."

What?!  I've been beating myself up about this!  Just...no problem.  "I wrote my prayer on the way over here this morning."

During the first service I listened to her read the scripture and say her prayer.  She was poised and prepared.  Her prayer was perfect...just the words that God had laid on her heart through the Holy Spirit.

No problem.

The Sunday school lesson?  It went just fine.  And it was on "Forgiveness".  Why didn't I see the irony in this before I was actually presenting?  Why is it so hard to forgive myself for my own short-comings?

No problem.

And the message this morning?  Well, of course...it was on prayer.

What made the difference between last night's break down and this morning peace and calm?  The few minutes I took to sit alone and connect with God.  Prayer.

Instead of praying when it was needed, I prayed when it was convenient.  I have the distinct feeling that my night would've been much better if I had spent my drive home praying rather than worrying and chastising myself.

Lesson learned.

Pray Expectantly

A friend of mine had a very serious stroke yesterday.  It was so serious, in fact, that she had to be air-lifted to Wichita.

Life can change on a dime.

It made me realize how fragile our bodies are and question whether or not I should be continuing to put mine through the stress of hunger.  

In fact, after several rough days in a row I really felt like it was time to stop.  Before bed last night my husband said, "I think it is time for you to get something to eat."  

I went to bed without posting...thinking that I just could not do this anymore.  And telling myself that my little project really doesn't even matter.  I prayed for my friend and I prayed that God would give me guidance.

Then this morning my husband's radio alarm woke me up with:

"Born down in a dead man's town.

The first kick I took was when I hit the ground.

End up like a dog that's been beat too much,

'til you spend half your life just coverin' up."

Yep...Bruce.  (If this means nothing to you, look back at August 1 and 2.)

This verse of the song fits the lives of those babies born in countries where hunger is just a part of life.  I know that the song was about a dying city in the US, but it has a whole new meaning to me.  His "dead man's town" can't compare to Nairobi, Kenya...and many, many others.  Read that verse once more with those people in your heads.

And on a personal level, this is a communication from God.  Yes, I know it is weird that God uses "The Boss" to send me messages.  But I will continue.

And I pray that this project is fruitful...even if I never see the fruit with my own eyes.

I will also let you know how my friend is doing later this evening.  In the meantime, please pray for a miraculous recovery for her.  Pray with the expectation that there will be healing.  Pray for strength, courage, and comfort for her but also for her family and friends.

In the News

The hunger is back.  I had more of a battle with it mentally and emotionally today than I have had lately.

I haven't remembered to share this in the last few day, but Numana was in the news recently!  The story starts at 2:14.  Check it out...

I did go work out tonight...and felt pretty good through it.  I think I really needed this today.

Although it was a day full of affirmations with several kind words from others about the message I delivered during the church service yesterday, it was one of those days that I just didn't feel God near.

But our faith isn't based on feelings, is it.

Remember that just because you sometimes feel that God seems far away, doesn't mean that He is.  We just need to remember to reach out in prayer.  He's there...around you, near you, in you.

Prayer is important.

You Are Needed!

You may be new to "One Daily Serving".  If you are, it's important that you get the back story behind the project.  This is a good place to start.  These posts are in backward chronological order.

Although this is a very personal journey for me in my own spiritual growth, I have also elected to make it public in that I want YOU to experience hunger through me.  I want YOU to gain some of the insights revealed to me over the months.  But mostly, through this public project, I want YOU to help me do something about hunger.

I pray that my family is able to take this trip next summer.  Click here to check out the video of Numana's current trip to Kenya.  Seems like a great family vacation to me!  My kids would certainly see the world in a different light.

The food provided in the video was packaged in Wichita.  A half a million meals!  Wow!  My goal for Salina is 100,000 meals.  The cost of the food for this project would be $23,000 and we would need help in packaging.  Hopefully YOUR help.

Please consider being a part of this project.  It doesn't have to be a large financial commitment.  Even $1 per month for the year (total of $12) would add up if enough people were willing to give to the cause.  ALL proceeds will go directly to Numana, Inc. for food.  There are no additional expenses associated with this project.  (The $.23 per meal would cover Numana's food costs, administration, shipping, etc.)

You need to know that Numana, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) organization...so your donation will be tax deductible!

In fact, your contribution doesn't have to be monetary at all!  Your prayers would be a welcome and much needed gift!  And, of course, I would love for you to join me and my friends (bring your whole family!) as we package food next August.

To make a pledge, just complete this form.  A certificate will be sent to you to remind you of your contribution.  Monetary donations will not be "due" until the end of the project--August 1, 2013.  However, your contribution of prayer starts today.

If you are able come help us package in August, please bring a covered dish.  Let's celebrate our accomplishment by sharing a meal together in our fellowship with one another.

More details of the event will continue to come as we get closer to the project's end.

By the way...it was a good day.  After at least of week of my hunger really feeling like a heavy burden, it was nice to have a day of respite.  Neither my head nor my stomach seemed to clamor for food today.  These days seem to be few and far between so I am grateful.

Thanks for reading!

Distracted

Classes started back up today.  It's going to be an intense schedule.  I worry about my ability to concentrate when I seem so distracted by thoughts of food right now.  Ridiculous...and frustrating.

I took a nap after work.  My energy level is not good.  Will it continue to deteriorate or is this just a phase of the fast?  I'm seriously thinking about adding one fresh fruit or vegetable per day.  Maybe that would be enough to pep up my energy.  I'll give it a little more time and see what my blood work indicates.

Tonight I went to the gym to get in a workout.  The Arc Trainer was definitely tougher than usual but I stuck it out for 50 minutes.  I'm hoping that regular exercise will help with my energy.

It seems to me that I am at a critical stage in this journey.  Either I've got to figure out how to get past the constant hunger (and thoughts of food) or I will not be able to continue.  I know I've got to get out of my own head but that is much easier said than done when your body's needs (and wants) are so persistent and severe.  And there is no end in sight.

Suggestions are appreciated.  Prayers are needed.

Good Gifts

No stomach growls today!  My body was tired, though.  I packed tonight and hauled some things out to my vehicle...and they seemed much heavier on the way out than on the way in.

But part of that is due to the fact that when I travel, I enjoy buying my children small gifts. 

Stopping into gifts and souvenir shops to look for the perfect item for each child makes me feel closer to them.  It is a time to consider each of my children and the things they like or collect.  I look forward to surprising them and letting them know that I thought of them while I was gone.

This time I found some of the old standbys.  One of my kids collects pins, so she's easy to please.  She has no idea how much time I spend debating between the varieties.  They are all displayed on a canvas bag to remind her of the places we have visited. 

The other ones are a bit tougher.  My oldest son and his wife like unique things, so I was thrilled to find them something right on campus that was a Fair Trade item made in India.  My youngest son will get a kick out of his harmonica and my youngest daughter will be thrilled with her pretty heart necklace that were both purchased at the Grand Ole Opry.

My husband, although he requested a new leather motorcycle jacket, will have to settle for a small genuine Louisville Slugger bat that I received with my tour of their factory.

With these things on my mind, I was surprised today in class when my professor told a similar story and quoted a familiar verse that I was able to see in a new light.  (Thank you for the inspiration, Dr. Johnson!)

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  --Matthew 7:11

I hope you are asking.  Daily.

Ups and Downs

Today had some ups and downs.

First, on my way to class this morning I noticed that I had a small bump (the size a pen tip) on my thumb.  It was kind of itchy and painful.  It reminded me of a festered sticker or something.  About halfway through the morning session, I realized that it had turned into a big blister.  What in the world?  I have no idea what that's about, but wonder if I was bitten by something again.

After class I ran to the store for bandages and then fell asleep as soon as I got in.  I was exhausted and achy.  I slept for three hours. 

After a full day of rest yesterday, I was surprised by my fatigue.  I am happy to report, however, that I feel much better tonight.

I let my water intake slip a bit yesterday and this morning so I'm going to chalk it up to that.

On a more exciting note, I started conversations with Numana on planning a packaging event next August 1!  Mark your calendars, people. 

When an event is hosted, the food that will be packaged must be purchased.  I expect that we will be able to put together 100,000 meals that day.  Yes, that's right...100,000!  In order to make this happen we will need $23,000 to buy the food itself.


This is just the beginning.  We have a long way to go to reach this goal.

If you haven't completed the form (also always available in the right column) to support this project (either through prayer, sharing the project with others, or by pledging a donation for the year, and/or each month, week, or day that I successfully abstain from food other than my one daily serving of Numana this year), please take the time to do it.  It doesn't matter how small the pledge may be, every little bit helps.

An easy way to support the project is simply by "liking" it on Facebook or following it on Twitter.  Both of these methods of support help spread the word.

Also, plan to join us on August 1in Salina if you can.

And, uhm...plan to bring a covered dish.  I'm going to be ready for your home-cookin'!

Physical Hunger or Heart Hunger?

Good news!  Today was easier.  I had energy and didn't struggle with food fantasies.

What made the difference?  Advice from a fellow student:

I just read through your blog. I once was in a bible study that focused on searching out "true hunger" (heart hunger vs physical hunger) by realizing signs of physical hunger (stomach growls, stomach pain, headache) instead of heart hunger (thoughts of food, thinking of desires, projecting our love for Christ on to other things). 

The solution the bible study offered was to feed yourself in the Word, write scripture, meditate on it, memorize it... And keep doing it until the temptation goes away. Sometimes temptation is short-lived sometimes long. Use the Word--as food, a weapon against the enemy, for comfort, etc. 

What amazing advice!  I have little experience with fasting and, although I've read lots on fasting, implementing the same concepts to this challenge had not yet entered my mind.  My last post on making sure my focus is on God (and not me) along with this advice on turning to Him (rather than turning inward and giving into fantasies or simply trying to use will-power) have worked together to give me a new outlook and a renewed excitement for the task at hand.

Other than scripture, there isn't much help greater than the counsel of other Christians.

Not to mention...one should never underestimate the power of prayer.

A Prayer for Strength

Yesterday was hard.  I don't know why some days are harder than others, but some are.

When I was brushing my teeth, I noticed my tongue was coated.  Gross.  I was tired.  I was hungry.  A trip to the grocery store for ingredients for a breakfast casserole for my class the next morning just about did me in.  

What's up with the coated tongue?  Well, I looked it up.  Apparently my body is ridding itself of toxins.  (Hmmm....this might take a while.)  It will clear up on it's own one day soon (when the toxins are all gone) and be a beautiful, healthy, new shade of pink.  At that point, according to the doctor's post that I was reading, my hunger will return.  

It will return?  It never really left!!

I felt sorry for myself.  I fantasized about Tucsons' fresh bread, salad, steak, grilled veggies...and dessert.  I told myself that God is not legalistic.  He's not holding me to this challenge.  It's okay to quit.  

And it is okay to quit.  And one day in the next 355 days I may just do that.

But I realize now that I was focusing on the wrong things.  My focus was on me--my pain, my hunger, my wants, my satisfaction.  

That was never the intent of this project.  It's time to redirect.  

My focus is two-fold really.  Hunger is the public focus.  How can I bring attention to it and help do something about it?  (For my friends and family who see me regularly, this is a very tangible way to develop an understanding of hunger.)

But the second, and more private, focus is on my relationship with God.  This private aspect of the project is the reason you don't see my name associated with it.  It's personal.  This experience and struggle is opening up space within me that was previously consumed with my own abuse of food.  It's opening up space for God to work.  

Father, teach me through this experience.  Give me strength and courage.  I pray that you will sustain me through this time and nourish me in many, many ways.  I pray Your blessing on all companies such as Numana who are fighting the battle with world hunger through providing food and spreading awareness.  Finally, Lord, be with all of those throughout the wold, including those right here in the U.S., who don't have enough food, who don't have food choices, and who don't have clean water to drink.  I pray that each of them will find You so that one day they will enjoy feasts in Your Kingdom.  Amen.