Feeding the Eyes

While I was away at seminary for 3 weeks, I made the comment to one of my friends that I was really enjoying the Food Network.  She asked, "Isn't that kind of like 'lust'?"  We laughed about it at the time.

However, the more I think about it, the more it doesn't seem so funny.

This has made me see the concept of lust in a different light.  Watching something that you lust after certainly does increase your craving for it.  I realized that some of my worst days were those in which I watched shows like "Chopped" or "Cupcake Wars".

If this is true for me in regard to food, it must be true for those with other issues besides hunger.

Why is just looking at something that we want so dangerous?  Because it often leads to action.

Of course you know where I'm going with this.  The whole "sex industry" (porn, strip clubs, prostitution) is set up to provide the eye candy to make people want to act on their desires.  At some point, looking is no longer good enough.

In fact, Jesus says, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." --Matthew 5:28

Is the Food Network a type of "food porn"?  Have I been committing some kind of "food adultery" by "cheating" on my project in this way?  This is one issue that starving people in foreign countries don't have to deal with much...if at all.  But for those who are hungry right here in our midst, it's painful.  I know.

I had no idea that the impact of this visual stimuli was so strong.  I'm avoiding the Food Network at this point.  In fact I don't watch much TV at all.  Enticing food is visually promoted everywhere!  No wonder we're such a fat nation.

Be careful what you feed your eyes.

The Little Things

Vitamins for breakfast this morning.  And, I do feel better this evening.

When I logged into my email tonight I had a message from a seminary friend.  He sent a copy of his church's latest newsletter with an article about my project.  Very cool!  I needed this encouragement today.

On the other end of the spectrum, I talked to my mom who is very concerned about my health and just wants me to start eating again.  After reassuring her that I am keeping my eye on my health, she didn't sound very soothed.

But I was serious in saying that I will continue to watch out for my own health.  Although I know I can lean on God, I also know that He has given me a brain with the expectation that I will use it to behave reasonably.    We can't just throw caution to the wind...even when following God's call.

With all of that said, I don't see any reason to stop now (other than to satisfy my own desires).  And I'm too stubborn to give in to just my spoiled stomach.

Tonight I had the pleasure of spending a few hours keeping an eye on my friends' 8-month old boy.  I always enjoy watching his pleasure with the simple things--giggles, kisses, stairs, walking (holding my hands), Fruit Loops, and (for the first time) cheese puffs.  Such a great reminder of how quickly time goes by.  Weren't my own kids that size just a couple years ago?

Make an effort tomorrow to live each moment and cherish the little things.

Save the Pets

I got my lab results back today.  It's no wonder I was so tired.  (See them at http://onedailyserving.weebly.com/the-stats.html)  I'm currently anemic with low electrolytes and blood platelets.  This evening I went and bought some vitamins.

If that brings up my numbers I will continue to keep my food intake as it is...one daily serving of Numana.

Speaking of Numana, Jay is currently over in Kenya dispensing food.  What an amazing trip that would be for my family, in particular, my children.  I hope this project opens their eyes considerably.

Over the weekend we got a flyer in our newspaper from IAMS dog food.

Really?  It costs only 23 cents to feed a hungry human.  Our priorities are a bit out of control.  It irritates me that they seem to be using the same language that is used for pleas to help the starving around the world.

Humans were created in God's image to be in dominion over the animals.

A listened to man say yesterday that he had a pet rabbit for a while as a child...and then one day it was gone.  He asked his father, "Where's my rabbit?"  His dad pointed at the oven and said, "We're higher on the food chain."

What about you?  Is your pet an "idol" in your life?  Does it keep you from traveling because you can't leave it?  Does it cost you resources that you really can't afford or that could be better used?

Pets are just pets.  And in many countries, they are supper.

And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 

 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”  (Genesis 1:24-26, emphasis mine)

Can't wait to see what PETA has to say about this...

Distracted

Classes started back up today.  It's going to be an intense schedule.  I worry about my ability to concentrate when I seem so distracted by thoughts of food right now.  Ridiculous...and frustrating.

I took a nap after work.  My energy level is not good.  Will it continue to deteriorate or is this just a phase of the fast?  I'm seriously thinking about adding one fresh fruit or vegetable per day.  Maybe that would be enough to pep up my energy.  I'll give it a little more time and see what my blood work indicates.

Tonight I went to the gym to get in a workout.  The Arc Trainer was definitely tougher than usual but I stuck it out for 50 minutes.  I'm hoping that regular exercise will help with my energy.

It seems to me that I am at a critical stage in this journey.  Either I've got to figure out how to get past the constant hunger (and thoughts of food) or I will not be able to continue.  I know I've got to get out of my own head but that is much easier said than done when your body's needs (and wants) are so persistent and severe.  And there is no end in sight.

Suggestions are appreciated.  Prayers are needed.

Toys or Treasures

My energy level today was low.  I didn't get much accomplished...at all.

I'm reading a really good book right now called The Treasure Principal by Randy Alcorn.  (It was a free gift from my visit to Freedom Church in Tennessee.)

Giving and living simply are so counter-cultural, yet that is what we are called to do.  For many, this (like the Sabbath) has been spoiled by our legalistic nature.  We want to ask questions like:  How much am I required to give?  Who do I have to give it to?  Is a tithe (tenth) based on my gross income or net income?  If I give a tithe, does this all have to go to my church?  If I want to give to other causes, does this need to be over and above my tithe?

My answer:  Quit worrying about following the rules and just give!  God didn't intend for this to be a burden, but a joy.

You've seen the bumper sticker.

 

Hmmm...

Check out these quotes that Alcorn pulled from some people you may know:

"The care of $200 million is enough to kill anyone.  There is no pleasure in it."  --W.H. Vanderbilt
"I am the most miserable man on earth."  --John Jacob Astor
"I have made millions, but they have brought me no happiness."  --John D. Rockefeller
"Millionaires seldom smile."  --Andrew Carnegie
"I was happier when doing a mechanic's job."  --Henry Ford

Actually, the Bible tells us that instead of storing up riches (that includes toys) here, we should be storing up treasures in heaven. 

Well, how in the world do we store up those kinds of treasures?  Invest your time, energy, and (yes) money in things that will last and things that will make difference in the lives of others.  Giving!

He explains it like this...

Your life is a dot.  It's just a small moment of time.  Yet, so many put everything into that one little dot.

But your eternal life just starts with that dot.

Everything you have (EVERYTHING) will be gone away.  Either it will leave you when it deteriorates, is ingested, rots, or rusts away...or you will leave it.  You can't take it with you.

But you can send your treasures on ahead of you to be stored up for your arrival.

What will those treasures be?  I cannot fathom what heaven will be like but I would hazard a guess that our treasures here cannot compare to the fabulous treasures there.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  --Words of Jesus in Matthew 6:19-21

Undeserved

After church this morning we had lunch with friends.  From there on out it was a wonderfully lazy Sunday.

I think the whole family napped before my parents came over to visit late in the afternoon.  I'm glad my kids enjoy quiet, alone time.

It was another tough day with food, though.  I was really hungry today.  However, I found that I was better about turning to God for comfort and strength rather than just fighting the battle on my own.  Delicious food is simply a momentary pleasure, I was reminded many times today.  I wish I didn't miss those moments so much.

Tonight we watched "Saving Private Ryan" with our children.  They are all teens and they asked lots of questions.  It had been a while since I watched that one...in fact, we only have it on VCR tape.  Such a vivid portrayal of the horrors of World War II--specifically D Day and the immediate aftermath.

It was certainly a time of sacrifice in our country's history.  There were sacrifices by parents, brothers, and sisters, friends, but especially of the lives of those soldiers.  

Does my generation realize the depth of those sacrifices?  What about the generations younger than mine?  Is it possible for us to even comprehend the bravery it took to fight such evil?  Would we be willing to make the same sacrifices?  

There are countries with generations of people that only know life with war.  There is evil still out there.  

I'm thankful, so very thankful, for my safety and my freedom.  However, I can't help but think of those who don't know such security.  

Why was I blessed with the privilege of being born in the U.S.?  How did I have the great fortune to be raised in the Midwest?  By loving parents?  With the freedom and simple pleasures that come with living in a small, rural town?  Why?

Did I somehow deserve it?  Was I such a special soul that God looked on me with special favor?

Or could I have just as easily been born in a slum in a big city to a mother on crack?  Or in a desert in Africa to parents who would soon die of AIDS as I slowly starved?  

No.  I don't deserve any of it.  Neither do you.  Quite on the contrary...we have been given much and we have a great responsibility because of it.

The servant who knows the master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what the master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. (Luke 12:47-48 emphasis mine)

Do you know your Master's will?  Are you doing it?  Are we doing it?

It's much easier to sit back and think, "It's not my problem."

But we weren't asked to do what was easy. 

Tracking the Changes

It was a relaxing day around here.  In fact, I stayed in my PJs until about 1:00.

This afternoon I took my girls both to Claire's because they decided to get their ears pierced a second time.  We were thrilled that while we were there, McFly's UK hit "I Got You" started playing over their speaker system.  This is the first time we've heard them in the US other than on a song they wrote and recorded with Taio Cruz. Pretty exciting!

McFly is a pretty big deal in our house since one of my daughters began listening to them 5 years ago.  This is a older song.  I feel like I've got to watch those boys grow up!

This evening we had friends and family over for dinner.  I filled my folks in on the project...and they handled it better than I expected.  They responded as if they were thinking, "Now what is she up to?"  I guess I'm kind of a boundary pusher.

Although it was tough to enjoy my one daily serving while they gobbled burgers, broccoli/Craisin salad, and pumpkin bars, I finished it off and my tummy was satisfied.

Today I also enjoyed working on an improved website to provide my readers with more information.  In the next few days you will see website change.  However, right now you can access the new website at:  onedailyserving.weebly.com.

It was a bit out of comfort zone to put all of the information on there that I wanted to provide for you...because I included my weight changes.  (The information from my blood lab work will be coming soon.)

I have issues with food.  Like many people, I use food for comfort and entertainment.  I eat when I'm down, when I'm celebrating, to socialize, when I'm bored, etc.  It's not a healthy relationship with food.  Part of what God is teaching me through this project is to view food in a different light.  To see that I can comfort and entertain myself in many different ways.  Again I come back to theme of turning outward toward God rather than turning inward.

These food issues have made this journey all the more challenging because I am not only dealing with the physical aspect of hunger but the emotional aspect as well.  I think that has probably been evident through my posts.

Yes, I'm ashamed of the data that I had to post for the world to see.  Believe me when I say that those numbers have went up and down many times throughout the years.  It was an eye-opener to reflect on those numbers today and come to terms with my own obesity.  Why can't I see this when I look in the mirror?  It's a strange thing.

I have many things to learn throughout this year.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)